Parenting Philosophies

The other day, I picked up my latest in a long line of parenting books - Kids are Worth It, by Barbara Coloroso. So far, I am agreeing with a lot of what I am reading, and wishing that I had picked it up sooner. Coloroso advocates reflecting on your 'parenting philosophy'; ideally this is done before the baby comes. Which got me thinking: Do I have a parenting philosophy? If so, what is it?

Since becoming a mom, I have spent a great deal of time researching and solidifying my beliefs about what I will not do (like CIO and spanking), without really contemplating what I would like to do. So far, most of my parenting decisions have been framed with an emphasis on what I am trying to avoid, rather than what I am trying to work towards.

So what is my parenting philosophy? I think that, deep down, what I am striving for is that in every interaction, she would come away feeling good about herself, about our relationship, and about her own power to affect change in her life. I want my daughter to feel loved, cherished and valued, even when I don't agree with her actions or decisions. I want my daughter to grow up to be kind, compassionate, responsible, and appropriately independent. These are the outcomes that I am working towards, and the reason that I parent in the way that I do.